An American journalist travels to a town in northern England. He stops a man on the street and says, “Good morning, I’m a journalist from the Springfield Times. I was wondering if you could help me—it’s about the abuse of teenage girls in this town.”
The man looks concerned for a moment and replies, “Hang on a moment, I’ll ask my friends.”
Suddenly, two other bearded men appear. They begin a heated discussion in a language the journalist doesn’t understand. Finally, one of them turns to him and says, “We want to help, but I need to ask my cousin.”
They locate the cousin, who is also bearded, and the animated conversation continues. After much back-and-forth, the cousin turns to the journalist and says, “We’d love to help, but we need to ask our wives.”
The group finds the wives. As everyone talks at once, the older women lift their palms to the heavens and begin ululating in chorus. One of the men finally says, “We really want to help, but it’s best if we check with our religious leaders.”
Shortly afterward, a group of religious leaders arrives, wearing tunics and sporting even longer beards. They listen thoughtfully to the commotion before one elder makes a pronouncement. Someone helpfully translates for the journalist: “There’s no problem here, but we should ask the police.”
A policeman soon arrives, bearing a striking resemblance to one of the cousins, and listens intently as the group explains the situation. After taking a few notes, the officer nods and declares, “We need to involve the social worker.”
In no time, a woman with purple hair and horn-rimmed spectacles appears with a translator. She engages in a brief conversation with the group of men. After some deliberation, a conclusion is reached: they need to consult the community.
To the journalist’s astonishment, a huge group of bearded men gathers. The entire crowd erupts into shouting, gesturing, and debating. Finally, in exasperation, the journalist shouts, “CAN ANYONE HELP ME! I’M LOOKING FOR CHILD MOLESTERS!”
The crowd falls silent. The first man steps forward and calmly says, “OK, we’ll do it.”